Confessions heard by the World's Worst Babysitter

What do babysitters today learn about American families?

I will readily admit it.  I was the world's worst babysitter.  I was also one of the busiest babysitters in all of Rocky River during my formative years. 

I was an A-list babysitter, not because of my stellar ability to work with children, but because I had no social life and I was always available. Consequently, I spent the better part of my life from 1975-1981 in twenty-plus strange homes within a ten-mile radius of Rocky River. 

I learned the secret life of so many families, mostly from hearing the complaints of the frustrated moms and the confessions of frustrated fathers.  I suppose I was well-liked by the moms, because I was just asexual enough to not be a threat to them, and I suppose I was well-liked by the fathers, because I did not raid their liquor cabinets and I would listen to their often slurred wisdom. 

Here's to those dads--I will confess here that I had a major crush on most of you.  Thanks for those late night rides home and our long talks.  I loved every minute of those nights.  Sitting in your dark car and watching the trail of smoke from your cigarettes.  I learned a lot from you guys.