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Do Solar Panels Effect Birds And/or Other Animals?
Submitted by Charles Frost on Mon, 04/26/2010 - 09:27.
Yes, they do. Solar panels are equipped with a defense mechanism that allows the solar panel to retalliate against birds who defecate on them. They have a touch screen panel that is installed on the surface of the panel and when a turd bombards its surface, the solar panel can then engages its defenses and can retalliate in several ways. Different manufacturers use different means of protection from turd bombs. Some prefer using iodine gas or chlorine gas, both powerful nerve agents used in WWI. However, other Manufacturers use a more direct approach, and install small versions of Boron and Neutron bombs that are powered by miniature Pulse Jets or Scram jets which propel the bomb towards the bird while an electronic tracking system monitors the birds position and velocity, directing the projectile at the doomed bird at speeds reaching mach 2.5 +or- 420 mph. Both means are very effective but can cause damage to surrounding buildings and animals and civilians. A new concept that follows the age old “eye for an eye” ideology is in development at Delphi Rocketry Munitions LLC. This defense neither uses harsh chemicals nor radiation as its defense but instead uses a caustic concoction and simply dishes out what it was served. A small 4.35 ounce canister is attached to the solar panel’s defensive rocket system. The projectile’s canister is filled with egg yolks, dog feces, Tabasco Sauce, Fermented Hollandaise sauce, rock salt, shards of glass, lemon juice, and a defeathering agent made from the abdomens of Guinea fowl. This mixture is first mixed at the factory and allowed to sit. This gives the mixture;s ingredients time to mingle and ferment. After 3.125 days, the canisters are filled and they are then attached to the rockets which are then shipped to the customers who then attach the rockets to the Solar panels side where the rockets are primed and the triggering wires are connected to the solar panels computer, making the panel ready to be poo’ed upon. As stated above, this method is still in testing but proves to be much more effective and SAFE and could possible save the bird’s life, instead of blasting it into a red cloud of feathers. To me, this method seems much more humane. I as well as other developers feel that some birds other than the mocking bird or finch deserve a second chance. I hope this helps. -LP