Submitted by Roldo on Sun, 04/05/2009 - 15:06.

I recently wrote about Mark DeMarino leaving journalism, at least temporarily. He felt a bit shortchanged in one department.

I was reminded by him that he for a number of years helped as a co-conspirator in composing Xmas issues of Point of View, a favorite for some.
The issue provided what we called “Scrooge Awards” to the deserving clientele. Gifts most people would not really appreciate.
DeMarino reminded me that I had forgotten this important achievement of his, tongue in cheek, I believe. He did say, however, that he was proud of participating in the Scroogies. He deserves credit… if that’s what he wants.
I wrote the annual holiday issue of the newsletter for many of my 32 years. It also was one that got me, surprisingly, into the most trouble. People can take outright criticism more easily than mocking. The Scrooge Awards were meant to mock and scorn.
Mark’s help was always appreciated because the cast of characters in Cleveland didn’t change that much. Therefore, the ability to repeatedly deal with the same players took some though and energy, if that’s what you want to call it. Many of the names from past years would mean little or nothing to today’s readers.
Just to give you some idea of the candidates for ridicule over the years here are a few:
Back in 1972-1974: “Cuyahoga County Democrats: Geritol.” “Tower City: A bridge to nowhere.” “Cleveland Foundation: New people to buy off.” “Roldo Bartimole: A year’s supply of lances and a new windmill.” Some things, you see, don’t change much.
1980-82: “Ted Henry: A doggone, a gosh and a gee whiz.” “Dorothy Fuldheim: Don King’s hairstylist.” “George Forbes: Darth Vader’s uniform.” “Judge Krupansky”: Boots and a whip.” “Journalism in Cleveland: Oxygen.” “Tim Hagan: A thread to hang on.”
1985: ”George Forbes: Eau de Arrogance cologne.” “Dennis Eckart: Acid rain hair spray.” “Tim Hagan: A Hyannis Port overnight bag.” “George Voinovich: No tears shampoo.” “Point of View: to never see the other guy’s viewpoint.”
1987: “Mary Rose Oakar: Oscar for best political actress: A pair of Imelda Marcos shoes.” “George Voinovich: A hostage plan to get city hall back from George Forbes.” “Gerald McFaul: Continued intimate employee relations.” “Sam Miller: Bad luck.” “Tim Hagan: A halo.”Dick Feagler: “A ham bone.”
1990-91: “Mike Polensek: An adequate supply of valium.” “Squire, Sanders & Dempsey: Indecent exposure.” “Climaco, Climaco, Seminatore & Leftkowitz: Schemes.” “Jeff Johnson: A mirror.” “Cleveland Tomorrow: Bonfires of the Vanities.” “Tom Chema: A pocket knife for whittling back his Pinocchio nose.” “Jay Westbrook: Velvet knee pads for meetings with Mike White.”
1992-93: “Mike White: A prescription drug for his mean streaks.” “Tower City: Circling vultures.” “Mike White: A corporal’s uniform.” “Art Modell: More fumbles.” “Dick Jacobs: An Ex-Lax milkshake.” “Brian Tucker: A golden back slapper for his sycophantic editorials.” “Sam Miller: Humility pills and a back door key to City Hall.” “City Council: Proper bowing and scraping lessons.” “Dick Jacobs: A cure for his public kleptomania.” “Tim Hagan: To once find out what his real beliefs are.” “Cleveland Browns: Last rites.” “Pee Dee readers: NoDoz with its daily newspaper.”
1994-95: “Dick Feagler: A clock that runs backwards.” “Steve Strnisha: A pet weasel.” “Mary Rose Oakar: Dan Rostenkowski’s stamp collection.” “Tim Hagan: ‘Hello, lost and found? I’d like to report I misplaced my integrity. Has anyone turned it in?’” “TV News: Tambourines.” “George Forbes: A deck of race cards.” “Dick Pogue: A barf bag.” “Joe Roman: A sense of humor.”
1997-1999: “Mike Trivisonno: Mouthwash.” “Growth Association: A name change – Greater Cleveland Titanic Association.” “Jane Campbell: A tiara.” “City Club: Some relevance.” “Cleveland Foundation: Muscle relaxant.” “Arnold Pinkney: An acrobat uniform for his ability to serve whoever is in power.” “Mike Dolan: A salve for inflammation of ambition.” “Mayor Michael White: An ego reducing diet.” “Lee Fisher: Cut bait.” “City Council: All day suckers.” “Sam Miller: A bag of banalities.” “Gateway’s 28,000 jobs promise: Viagra.” “Michael White: A personality tuck.”
So you get an idea of how it went.
( categories: )

humor, but not really

Roldo, Thanks for the reminder and the hearty belly laughs. I had some good guffaws reading this. Then I thought about the unfortunate reality behind the quips (great headlines) and snapped to sobriety. None are better or best - they are all priceless. Were there articles or just the "awards"? I'd love to post all of POV just so we have that intitutional memory. Just today I was writing to fill in recent gaps in the map of "operation air ball" (the FBI's moniker for th corruption investigation) in Valdis Kreb's map.